| Fuck. |
[Sep 10, 2009 ; 4:19pm] |
I hate the fact that after everything that fuck has done, i still would do anything for him and still want to be with him. I hate myself.
Post from mobile portal m.livejournal.com
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[Mar 15, 2007 ; 8:04pm] |
OK, given that the start of my day was completely shit, today turned out to be a good day.
I did a bit of my assignment which was good, but i couldnt find any motivation to keep doing it, and ended up falling asleep, but when i woke up and checked the mail, i found 2 things for me from OTEN. They were my marks for my assignments i handed in. I opened them in the study where no one would know or see, because i didnt think i would get a very good mark, maybe 50s, early 60s, but i ended up getting 90% for my first one and 91% for my second one. Now i have the motivation i need to keep going because i honestly thought i wouldnt be doing well at all. I think i could have gotten quite a bit better mark though, but i was lazy doing them, which is partly why i thought my marks wouldnt be that great. Maybe if i try harder i can get 95%+ for the rest of my assignments. Atleast then on my certificate it will say distinction on it which looks good =)
I went on the bike today for half an hour, i know its not much, but while im sick im not going crazy. Although i figured out i do on avg 1km every 2 minutes. By the time ive played 2-3 netball games i wanna be able to do 35kms an hour so i can actually not die playing netball this season, especially seeing as we moved up a grade.
Anyway i really dont have much else to say. Im just finally happy with the way school is going for once, and my parents are actually proud of me
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[May 29, 2006 ; 5:23pm] |
The sex meme:
Sexual orientation: Bi-curious, but the girl has to be fucking HOT
How often do you think about sex: Umm alot lol
How often do you HAVE sex: prolly bout 2-3 times a week...sometimes more
Worst sexual experience: Stu forcing me to fuck him
Cybersex? Phone sex?: Both weird and wrong and just do not work.
Casual sex: Umm yeah i think thats fine, if the person is a fuck buddy, ive slept with randoms but dont really like being degraded like that..
Sex toys and related fetish accessories: Give me cuffs and a vibrator any day =D
Least sexiest part: Vaginas. Ive never seen anything more filthy
Favorite body type: Built and muscular and around 6 foot.
Body hair: yes or no: I have none, but i like it on guys, but not too much.
Monogamy or non-monogamy?: Monogamy
Underwear: Boxers
Pornographic or erotic: I only like watching porn if im having sex at the same time
How large is your porn collection?: I dont have any
Favorite hair color: Brown
Kissing or cuddling?: cuddles i would say. Daniel is my big teddy bear =D
Most attractive anthro/furry creature: Nick/Conrad
Most interesting fetishes you've heard of: ummm apart from necrophiliacs, i would say dick cheese. They make me want to die!
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[Jan 7, 2006 ; 7:06pm] |
sarah has got her ps therefore thinks she owns the car. she has no where to go but still drives and wont let me drive even though thats fucking selfish of her. i hope she crashes and wil never want to drive by herself again.
i am incredibly sick from my migraines and i have anaemia too which makes it even worse, and i took 18 panadeine and 4 nurofen migraine pain tablets last ntie and have been throwing up or feelin like it ever since. the pain has never gone and i will be surprised if it ever does. some one please kill me and tell daniel i love him.
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| friday night |
[Dec 17, 2005 ; 7:53pm] |
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mood |
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 hungover and tired as hell |
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Ok, last night me and geof went to meet daniel, brendan, ingrid, brian and mel at the RSL, it was a really slow start to the night seein as me and ingrid were pretty much the only 2 ppl with money, so i was buying drinks for everyone until i decided to be a pov biatch and not buy them anymore or else i wouldnt be able to get drunk, which is just totally a huge NO! when i go out to get drunk, i make sure that i get drunk. So yea we were at the RSL until about midnite when some idiot suggested we went to the oldie, so we did, which was fucking stupid because the oldie is so much more expensive, and its pointless to go to before one because its like dead, but at around 1am it started gettin good. I met up with jamie, jacob, olie, jamies brother chris, amy knight and hannah and alex... i think that is all of them, but yea we played pool and me and hannah were on a team and really drunk and we still won...ok so we kind of cheated majorly, but they didnt see, so really we still won, and jamie bought me like 5 drinks that night which was good because i was sobering up. Later on that night i saw bennett and went and hung with him and his work friends for abit which was good. It was weird though because he kept on talking about when we used to go out and stuff and i was like "umm ok that was almost 4yrs ago" but yeah, my night ended up being pretty awesome. Me and daniel ended up leaving around 3:30 or so, caught a cab, and told him to stop down alinta close, near the stairs, and i made daniel bundy with me lol. I was soo not paying $15 on a cab, but yes, running up those stairs in the dark when i hadnt slept in days was not a good idea, i reached the top and like died, not to mention i nearly fell down them about a zillion times. When we got home i dont remember much, apparantly i passed out on the kitchen floor and i woke up in my bed like almost naked haha. I woke up to find daniel asleep sitting up holding a fork with an empty bowl on his lap. It was cute. I lay him down and tried to make him comfortable n then i went back to sleep and thats the end of my friday nite.
It is now saturday night and i am finally home for once this week, and my family are all gone THANK GOD! Oh how i have dreamed of the day. Ok so they get back at midnight or so, which sucks, but its good to have the house to myself. Steffi and lil Dan are coming round tonight, god knows what we will do with our lack of money and transport (my parents took the car keys so i couldnt drive grr!) but im sure us 3 will figure out something to do...i hope.
This is like the longest entry i have written in a while, mainly due to the fact i havent been home alot lately, and when i am im usually hungover or tired as fuck, or both. By the way last night i ended up scabbing about 9 drinks...I dont feel proud cuz i hate to scab, but still, not too bad. Had about 16 drinks all up, which would probably explain my passing out. Heh.
Brendan wants to do something with me tonight and has called me 11 times now, im not answering and have put my fone on silent. I feel so mean, but like i just dont feel like doing anything with him tonight and i know that if i were to answer my fone he would persuade me to come and id give in because its hard for me to say no.
Anyways i dont think i can be bothered to write anymore, and i am going to go find some food as all ive eaten today is a sausage roll and im quite the hungryness.
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[Dec 11, 2005 ; 3:03pm] |
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last nite after i got home from geofs i had 3 shots of makers mark and 3 of vodka and 4 xanax. i think i ended up calling brendan and crying to him and then i remember nothing. I just woek up and its 5 past 3pm and i am still really fucked. I am going to back to sleep. I miss Daniel so fucking much. I need him. I love him.
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[Dec 11, 2005 ; 12:43am] |
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mood |
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 drugged n drunk |
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im so scared about daniel getting with other chicks. I know that he likes me still, i know that he is just scared of being to close to a chick, and i think that is why he dumped me. I can tell he cares for me, i know he does, the way we have been when we are together, i know he does. He is exactly like samantha from SATC when she meets the hot guy (totally 4got his name cuz im tipsy and took xanax) but how she had to cheat on him cuz she couldnt take commitment, but then realised she liked him and all that, u guys should kow what im talking about if u watch the show, but yea, thats what i think it is with me and him, hes just too scared to get too close to me. Im gonna get him back, i will, i know it. I need him, he got me off the xanax and ive not been that happy in so long. Now i am drunk (i had some of my dads makers mark and some vodka) and i took 4 xanax. this entry is taking me so long to write cuz i hahve to try to make ti make sense. We need each other, we helped each other out so much, and we bettered ourselves thru each other. We need each other. I know he likes me, i just know it, its just the fact that he doesnt know it, or wont admit it. i dont know. I have to get him abck though. i ned him. he is in teh city now which is weird cz he hates the city. i hop e he si wtih boys from cricket n not chiks or il b e cut. the xanax just kicked in a lot jsut hen. evertying is la di dda ad i cant see much eaither. I dotnt want ot dslep but i think i have to cuz i mites ;pass out ors omething and i catn realt see wat i am typng hthis wil probas;y not make sense to em in the morning but it dos now so uea. i miss danilel so muhc, i want sesx so abd. sleept rimes byes byes
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[Dec 6, 2005 ; 11:57am] |
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mood |
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crazy |
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MUST GET A TICKET TO U2 CONCERT!! IS THERE ANYONE WHO CAN SELL ME ONE PLZZZ??? STRESS HELL!!! *GOES INSANE*
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[Nov 30, 2005 ; 12:19pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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[Nov 18, 2005 ; 9:01pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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im falling for daniel hard...................................
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
not good. i cant fall in love again, it wil fuck me up so much when it ends. I seriously cant deal with that shit, not now, not for a very long time. im too fragile.
I havent been this happy in months, but like i cant love him, i have to force myself not to...
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[Nov 11, 2005 ; 12:06am] |
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if my weakness is my strength...then does that make me weak, or strong?
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[Nov 8, 2005 ; 8:39pm] |
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does some one wanna make me a layout for LJ plz plz plz?? i really need a new/decent one. stewie from family guy plz :) ooorrrr jude law *drool* or jessica alba. anyone who is willing, take ur pick :)
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[Nov 2, 2005 ; 8:46pm] |
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mood |
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dying |
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2moro nite me and daniel are going to go to the beach and get fish and chippies and eat them on the beach then sex on the beach under the stars and it will be rad. it sounds romantic sort of but like i dont want it to be corny and romantic, but i just like the beach at nite, and sex, so why not put them both together?? damn straight, its fabulous. i just love being with him, we have so much fun together. he may not be that nice to other people, but hes become really nice to me, and we can just fuck around and have fun, nothing serious which is what i need right now. i havent been this happy in so long and i deserve to be happy. i dont care if daniel bothers other people, because he makes me happy and thats whats important.
i still cant stop thinking about ms berra and laughing even though she went to the emergency room...shes not dead so i figure its ok to laugh, and if its not ok to laugh, im going to any way because i can.
marlboro lights are really quite the grossness...but i keep smoking them anyway, im not addicted or anything and never will be, i think its just cuz theyre free and i like have to have free stuff cuz im poor and i just love free stuff.
i wish i had good stuff i could sell on eBay *tear* well i do have good stuff, but it wouldnt be worth shit on eBay, or i wouldnt want to sell it cuz i want to keep it still. i need money!!
what the fuck is up with this summer. its like 3 days into summer and we are all dying already. stupid australia and its horrible steaming hot weather. why cant it be winter? :(
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[Oct 28, 2005 ; 7:03am] |
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ha. ha. hahaha...oh god im fucked. i have my HSC in like 2hrs and i fell asleep by accident at like 7:30-8pm last nite and i was meant to be studyng...now i have to study like a whole topic on the train and hope atleast half of it sinks in...my failure of this test is going to be somewhat amusing...when life is this screwed all u can really do is laugh.
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[Oct 27, 2005 ; 7:41pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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i had a really good day with daniel today hes so nice when like no1 else is there but like now i really like him and i dont want to cuz im scared of wat will happen. why the fuck does liking some one have to be so complicated? it shouldnt be so complicated, but it is, because people are retarded and twist everything and just makes something that could be so good so blah and scary.
im really tired. i need to sleep soon. i have the HSC tomorrow and im gonna like look at the paper, pass out and die. if i pass ill laugh because it wil be some kind of miracle.
my dad saw my boss today when he went shopping and went into my old work and went insane at her...lotsa ppl were in the shop waiting and heard every single word...even though i wasnt there or nething i am sooo embarassed. if my boss sees me and like tries to talk to me i will die. i will grab wateva is closest to me and attempt to kill myself. sounds like a freakin plan!
if it isnt colder tomorrow i think ill just jump out infront of a train. sitting in a room tryin to bullshit genetics and all that does not work with smouldering heat.
well im off cuz yea i cant be assed to write anymoreeeeee. buh-bye.
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[Oct 24, 2005 ; 9:25pm] |
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mood |
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MELTINGGGGGGGG |
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my aim this summer is to design some kind of floating tent or teepee so i can like live in it and float around the pool all summer. i think its the only way il live. everyone says its not hot today, well if its not fucking hot then why am i dying??? yea damn right nigga thats cuz its FUCKING HOT!!!!
SOMEONE PUT ME OUT OF MY MYSERY AND KILL ME....OR SEND ME TO AMERICA :D:D:D:D
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